The Name Game

We are still recovering from being with Sugarmomma’s family last weekend. I’m not even family but I did a lot of work getting ready for and cleaning up afterward and barely got a passing thanks. That doesn’t make me want to go back there again. After dealing with the family bullshit and SM’s dad who is so possesive over the kids and grandkids and who gets so pissy and irritated if we sleep at or visit too much with other family members and tip toeing around him and my step-mother-in-law I don’t want to go back there. SM’s cousin skipped the family reunion to go on a river that is raging because of the flooding and got arrested for underage drinking. That was the talk of the weekend. That lead to talk about how fucked up the family is and everyone’s personal issues and for a few moments I didn’t feel so bad about my own family. Glad it’s over with and we are safely home where we can hide.

On a brighter note: WE GOT NEW SEX TOYS!!!!!! We went to a Pure Romance party thrown by the neighbors. I know I had some open friends when I was their age but I don’t remember anyone talking about how great their sex toys were or that their vagina was getting tore up by their lubricant. Sugarmomma and I have been eagerly waiting for our package to arrive especially since about a week and a half before the party two of our bullets died at almost the same time. Those two bullets are essential! Especially for quickie’s! Yesterday it finally came………4 days late! SM and I stayed up until almost 1am trying out our new prizes. SM and I have this tradition of naming our toys. So far we have had: Madonna, Violet, Ice Princess, Glowie, Madge(she has been torn and is out of commission), Gillian( Gillian is dead! She passed on several years ago.),  Britney, Mrs. Ritchie, Melanie and Lindsay. There are of course a few more that we didn’t think of ”special” names for like: Bullet, Water Dancer(her given name), that small curved one that came in the pack. We’ll be thinking hard of proper names for each. new. toy.

VD

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 Sugarmomma got a card from Stella and the other kids, a card from me, a candle, three kinds of chocolaty treats, a new pair of mittens, flowers, a massage (which she said she didn’t want right now). I am not the most romantic person. Ok I am not romantic at all. I am not spontaneous. But the thoughts behind the gifts were actually thoughtful.

 I am trying to get off my medication for anxiety. I have started easing off my dose of Zoloft and I am at half of what I used to take. Thankfully, I haven’t had any harsh side-effects and haven’t had any relapses with anxiety. I am having some dizziness which isn’t a big deal since half of my life is lived dizzy, but I seem to be a bit emotional lately. Striking out at sugarmomma more than usual and on the verge of tears. Could I be having PMS or is this just a low in the highs and lows of life? I guess I’ll wait it out or see what my Dr. says next week at my next appointment.

I did it

For so long I had thought I was so stupid that if I went to college I would flunk out. To the contrary I managed to pass ALL my classes with three A’s and one B a GPA of 3.75. I am proud. I wish my family was.  It seems no one cares and when they do remember to ask about it it’s half heartedly to maintain conversational ordinance.  I think if I had gone to school right after high school I would be a below average student. I am glad I am returning as an adult to tackle higher education.

How was your holiday? I managed to make it through another holiday season. The hell of writing out christmas holiday cheerness to family and friends before they sent their own christmas cards, the shopping madness, the wrapping until 2am madness, the food, the family, the decorating, the cookies and fudge madness.

My mom and I made fudge every year, along with my grandma’s sugar cookies. Since she passed away I have not made a good batch of fudge. First, I couldn’t find the recipe which was supposed to be in the cook book I had of hers. Then I found out my brother and sister in law had it. I was living in Virginia at the time so they had to e-mail the recipe to me. The recipe is written on an old scrappy piece of paper and was slightly illegible. Trying to read my mom’s writing my sister in law and I tried making this fudge several different ways over the past four years. Neither one of us was able to make a decent batch of it. It turned out burnt, too runny, too thick, too greasy, or caramelly. After doing some recipe research and review of past trials I FINALLY made a decent batch of my mom’s fudge. I can’t tell you how exciting it was to have a bite of fudge that tasted like my mom’s! Thanks mom.

I got some nice gifts from Sugarmomma. She always gets me nice things. I tried to get her nice things but I didn’t get her what she wanted. I thought she wanted a video camera but she didn’t. I couldn’t get her the Sirius Stiletto portable satellite radio because it was sold out. I couldn’t find the Superman address book she wanted to replace the one that Nova peed on as a kitten, and I couldn’t find the bail n seal jar she wanted for her coffee. I at least got her some reindeer plates and Rudolph serving platter from Pottery Barn that she wanted. My dad however hit a new high with gift giving this year. He gave me a set of four solar yard lights and a stainless steel funnel. I don’t know why, I never said anything about them ever. Two weeks ago I talked to him on the phone and he mentioned that he gave money to my brother again and that he would give me $1,100 to me too to make it even. I don’t know what happened to that. Merry Christmas.